The night before my surgery

So I want to write about what had happened the night before my surgery because I am sure others have gone through the same emotions as me (I hope!)  While out buying last minute supplies for my aftercare I realized that I hadn't really eaten anything the whole day--banana here, nibbles there, not really a meal so to speak as I was also instructed to eat light anyway the day before.  I didn't want to ruin everything by eating fast food, so I bought a candy bar from Walmart. I got a king size Milky Way and knew it was going to be my last so I start to eat it in my car on the way home and it tasted soooo good! (of course) I wanted to savour every bite so I went slow and felt it in my mouth and was really into this chocolatey goodness when a song from the 80's came on- "It must have been love" by Roxette. Talk about emotions!!!! I started to cry and I realize that I am "breaking up" with this candy bar forever!!!!!  I went through all of these emotions; happiness (to begin a new way of life), sadness (food was my coping mechanism for almost 30 years), anxiety (about surgery), fear (that I am going to fuck-up some how) and just about every other emotion you can think of!!! So I look at the last part of the candy bar and kissed it and told"it" that I was done with it and I didn't "need" it anymore and opened my sunroof and flung it out into the night!!!!!  I WAS LIBERATED!!! I FELT SO GREAT!  I felt like a new person and OFFICIALLY began my journey! So I get home and I get myself together and sit on the couch and my husband is on the computer oblivious and I start to cry AGAIN!  He was like, "Baby are you crying?"  and I explained to him the whole candy bar incident and re-telling it only made it seem that much funnier because we laughed so hard!! My husband is so supportive of me and everything I do, and I love him to death!  So then after we had our good laugh, I realized I had to do some more cleaning up before going to bed--I got my bag ready and got food ready for my husband and kids for the week and by the time I looked at the clock it was 11:45pm--I am not allowed anything else to drink or eat past midnight and for a split second, wondered what I could eat before then.  I heard someone say recently, but never had it been so real till now; "Life is about Choices." So I CHOSE to have 2 bites of soup and a little water and that was it. Tomorrow is the start of a new me.............