So I want to write about what had happened the night before my surgery
because I am sure others have gone through the same emotions as me
(I hope!) While out buying last minute supplies for my aftercare I
realized that I hadn't really eaten anything the whole day--banana
here, nibbles there, not really a meal so to speak as I was also
instructed to eat light anyway the day before. I didn't want to ruin
everything by eating fast food, so I bought a candy bar from Walmart. I
got a king size Milky Way and knew it was going to be my last so I
start to eat it in my car on the way home and it tasted soooo good! (of
course) I wanted to savour every bite so I went slow and felt it in my
mouth and was really into this chocolatey goodness when a song from the
80's came on- "It must have been love" by Roxette. Talk about
emotions!!!! I started to cry and I realize that I am "breaking up"
with this candy bar forever!!!!! I went through all of these emotions;
happiness (to begin a new way of life), sadness (food was my coping
mechanism for almost 30 years), anxiety (about surgery), fear (that I
am going to fuck-up some how) and just about every other emotion you
can think of!!! So I look at the last part of the candy bar and kissed
it and told"it" that I was done with it and I didn't "need" it anymore
and opened my sunroof and flung it out into the night!!!!! I WAS
LIBERATED!!! I FELT SO GREAT! I felt like a new person and OFFICIALLY
began my journey! So I get home and I get myself together and sit on
the couch and my husband is on the computer oblivious and I start to
cry AGAIN! He was like, "Baby are you crying?" and I explained to him
the whole candy bar incident and re-telling it only made it seem that
much funnier because we laughed so hard!! My husband is so supportive
of me and everything I do, and I love him to death! So then after we
had our good laugh, I realized I had to do some more cleaning up before
going to bed--I got my bag ready and got food ready for my husband and
kids for the week and by the time I looked at the clock it was
11:45pm--I am not allowed anything else to drink or eat past midnight
and for a split second, wondered what I could eat before then. I heard
someone say recently, but never had it been so real till now; "Life is
about Choices." So I CHOSE to have 2 bites of soup and a little water
and that was it. Tomorrow is the start of a new me.............
She gave me a prescription for a supplement to take. I didn't have
that many questions so we covered just the basics. After that I had
another meeting with the registered dietician. I had had homework to
complete before surgery, involving what my meal plan was going to be
the days following my surgery when I come home! So we had a good chat
and I left feeling more confident about what to expect! Come on
Tuesday!!!!!