This is how the PLUMP began

My name is Stacy and I am sick and tired of being fat! I was normal weight as a baby and into my childhood, however, around age 8, I started to get "plump." Through junior high school (mid 80's) and high school I was always the bigger girl in my group of friends. Even though I was a size 12-14, I felt HUGE beside them. After I graduated high school in 1991, I started going out to clubs and dancing with my friends, sometimes 4 times a week. I loved to dance! I considered myself a very good dancer, I'm talking hip-hop, salsa, rave--kind of dancing. I would dance sometimes 3-4 hours straight, sweating so much, my clothes would be drenched!! So I realize now, that dancing was my exercise back then. This went on for at least 6 years. It wasn't until I grew tired of the "club scene" that I started to gain weight. I rarely ever exercised, and I was starting to get "comfy" in my sedentary lifestyle. In 1991 I remember being 160lbs. By 1997 I was probably around 185lbs. In 2004 my father died. Talk about reasons to be fat! It has been very hard for me to tell people of my past but my father sexually abused me for about 7 years. I remember the first time something had happened, I was 5 or 6. He was an abusive man, and I wasn't the only one who had to suffer his sickness. My poor mother was repeatedly physically and emotionally abused by him as well. There were nights that I would listen through the air vents in my room and hear them downstairs. He raped her on several occasions and put marks on her. He was an alcoholic and a marine. Kind of synonymous in my book. My mom never knew about my abuse until I finally got the courage to literally break free one night when I was about 12 years old. That night would change the rest of my life for me. My mom kicked him out of the house that night, although he had already started to pack, and he was never to return. Throughout the years, mom and I had many private conversations about our lives and what had happened to us. It wasn't until I was an adult and ironically, the year before my mom had passed away, that we had our most candid talk. We had gone to the beach on a cool fall day and sat there bundled up enjoying the fresh air and talked about everything that was going on in our lives. I will never forget that day for as long as I live. I forgave my mom that day. I had all my questions answered. Why she never pressed charges, why she stayed with him, and a lot more difficult ones I could never have asked before. My mom looked more fragile to me than ever after that, but oddly enough, she was the strongest woman I had ever known. My Mom started to get really sick in 1997. She was diagnosed with Hepatitis C and her health started to decline rather quickly. She passed away in 1999. Needless to say, I was devastated. I fell into a severe depression and started to put on weight pretty fast. In 2000, I met my husband and I weighed about 220lbs. By the time I got pregnant with my son Noah in 2002 I weighed 243lbs. I gained 47lbs. during my pregnancy and got up to 291lbs. --gosh--I still can't believe the great pregnancy I had, barely any morning sickness, just a little swelling the last month but even at 291lbs, and High risk, I didn't develop diabetes, or hypertension-none of that stuff. I lost 37lbs. within the first 3 weeks after I gave birth. NO LIE! It was mainly water weight---PLUS it was August and I sweated profusely! Within 3 months however, I gained the majority of it back. I remember starting to get frustrated that I couldn't fit back into my clothes that I had before I had gotten pregnant. So in 2004, about a month after my father had died, I was diagnosed with cancer. A very large tumor had started to grow inside my uterus---almost 10 lbs. to be exact. When it was removed, losing that 10lbs or so was kind of strange. Meaning: I had tried to lose weight prior and I always "fell off the wagon," it took CANCER to lose weight. So after my surgery, I was so depressed, I cried all the time. My Oncologist told me I "probably won't be able to have children in the traditional sense, but there are always other alternatives." I was crushed---I really wanted to have more children. I was really depressed and weighed around 270lbs. In 2005 I finally got on meds and started to feel better. I weighed about 285lbs. late 2005, and started to stay around that same weight until around September 2006. I had enough---In Oct 2006 I weighed 295lbs. I tried to go on a diet and in 2 weeks I lost 5 lbs. I felt really good---- then, I don't know what happened! I abandoned the diet and I gained the 5lbs. back and then some! All this time I had been trying to get pregnant again after I was given the green light from my gynecologic oncologist. So after almost 5 years of trying, I was pleasantly surprised at a routine uterine sonogram to make sure my cancer hadn't come back, to find out I was pregnant!!! It was a miracle! I had a very tough pregnancy. I developed gestational diabetes, slight hypertension, and a lot of swelling. My son Nadav was born 10/13/08 at 10:14am! 12lbs. 3oz of pure chubby love!!! My weight had gotten to a high of 333lbs! A couple of weeks after he was born, I had lost all the baby weight and then some. I had gotten down to 297lbs. without really trying. I had learned before the baby was born that my husbands new insurance covered weight loss surgery so, Dec 2008, I went to see my doctor to get a referral for a Bariatric Surgeon and was weighed at the doctors office---the scale said 304lbs. I was beside myself. My husband was with me and I felt so embarrassed. How did I let myself get like this?? I need help. I chose to start my journey towards weight loss surgery. This is what it has come down to. I want my outside to reflect how I feel on the inside. Because inside, I feel youthful, and sexy and ALIVE! I feel like a ROCKSTAR!! I want to do so many things, but feel like my body is holding me back! I want to be athletic, I have always wanted to go rock climbing and go to yoga (not saying I can't do that now) but I have a vision of myself in cute yoga attire doing all kinds of weird positions. I know---- I'm strange, but its the little things that I want to be able to do. I want to be able to sit comfortably in an airplane seat. The last few times we have flown I have had to ask for an extender--that is really embarrassing! Clothes are one of the biggest things. I feel I have great style, but clothes that are a size 26-28 DO NOT LOOK GOOD! PERIOD. I want to wear cute clothes and feel good about myself. There are obviously more important reasons why its critical that I lose weight--the number one---my beautiful sons, Noah and Nadav. They deserve for their mother to be there for them, healthy and happy! They are my miracle babies and I owe it to them to be the best that I can be! My Husband has loved me big--yes I was about 90lbs. smaller but he has always been great and he continues to be my #1 fan! Not to mention all my other family and friends who I love so much. I want to be around a very long time and its time to take my life into control!!! And so it begins.....