This is going to be a really long ride.......

Today I went to my first social outing since the surgery.  Let me start off by saying--AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! The neighbors of my in-laws threw a birthday party for their  son--these people are Iranian and know how to entertain, with lots of tasty food and beverage.  There were meatballs, chicken wings, cheese and crackers, Iranian potato salad, other salads, chips and salsa, guacamole, roast chicken breasts, garlic bread, pizza and not to mention MARGARITAS AND BEER---MY FAVORITES.  I came over with my cup of chicken broth and sipped on that while I watched everyone else around me helping themselves to all this food that I was salivating over!!!!! I was in a really great mood and I am feeling great and then I started to look around me--these people are eating and having a great time and not all of them were skinny.  There were a few that were overweight.  So I asked myself as I sat there, "Could I have been happy being overweight and being able to eat what I wanted for the rest of my life?"  So it really got to me and I had to leave the party for a while.  My husband knew the reason why I  had left but I told the others who asked where I was going that I needed to go to the bathroom.  I needed to escape.  I feel better now that I am away, but I know that I am not going to be able to avoid these situations in the future.  I even packed my dinner- 2T of cottage cheese and 2T of applesauce.  Hopefully in a few more weeks my meals will be second nature and all this head hunger will get better.  So to answer the question,  No.  I would not be happier overweight and just eating myself to death.  That's why I got the surgery.  I needed help and unlike the people at the party, I couldn't control myself.  But I also can't speak for anyone else--that is their lives and this is mine---so off I go to eat my quarter cup! I am going to eat the hell out that cottage cheese and applesauce!!! lol