Christmas Day--236lbs--Down 77lbs

 Happy Holidays everyone! A lot has happened since my last post.  On December 9th I had a total Hysterectomy due to cancer recurrence. Almost 6 years ago, 9 months after my first child was born, I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer and underwent surgery to remove a large tumor and my right fallopian tube. A year of treatment later and I was given a "clean bill of health" to try to have another child in May of 2005.  Due to my PCOS, irregular/heavy menstrual cycles (both due to my obesity) and only 1 fallopian tube, my chances of conceiving naturally were pretty slim.  My husband and I decided to go to an infertility specialist, and we hadn't even finished with the preliminary tests,  when we had already spent about $1,000.  It was very discouraging and frankly we didn't have the kind of money that it took for all the treatments. So we just tried ourselves, but after a year or so of trying I almost gave up.  I desperately wanted another child and got a little depressed about it and ended up gaining weight. My friend food made me feel better. Mid 2007 I started to buy those over the counter ovulation test kits. I went through one kit and nothing happened. I tracked all my cycles to perfection and was totally aware of the signs of ovulation.  So I bought another test and another test.  Finally, one day in January of 2008 I tested myself and was positive for ovulation, Michael was about to leave the house to go to a party, as it was Superbowl Sunday.  He was literally, out the door and I had to stop him to tell him I was ovulating and he is NOT going anywhere!!! (at least not for 2-5 minutes he wasn't...tee hee) Anyway------so while it wasn't very romantic, the job was done. I propped my legs on the wall for about 1/2 and hour and let gravity help. I was confident that would do the trick.  The next month I got my period.  I was devastated.  I was so emotionally spent. Hoping every month for those little lines to show up. In March 2008 I had to go to get my bi--annual ultrasound to monitor any growth on my uterus. What was supposed to be a 20 min. appt. turned out to be 1hour and 45 min. After 2 Techs and not much being said a Radiologist came in and I bluntly asked him "Whats going on? Did you find something?" I thought the worst.  He said "Well Mrs. Gross, whats going on is we think you are pregnant".  I was in complete shock--I told him " I am not pregnant, I think I would know if I was" and then he scanned me and there it was--this little tiny sac with a teeny beating heart. My own heart started to beat so hard.  I was overwhelmed with emotion and I started to cry. The Tech said " Are you okay Mrs. Gross?" I said to her "I have been trying to get pregnant for a couple of years now and I was told I never would be able to!"I then got really excited and drove all the way home crying to tell my husband! We made phone calls to family and then to my Obgyn to start prenatal care!  Superbowl Sunday will always be special to us, and I was never really a fan to begin with.;)  In Oct 2008 my miracle baby was born. Nadav Eitan, all 12lbs 3oz and 21in. of him.  It was actually on the operating table that my Obgyn stated "I think this is it for you, isn't it?"  I didn't realize it then, but I obviously knew that he really was a miracle and when I delivered him I was my heaviest weight ever at 333lbs. Talk about a really tough pregnancy.  2 months later I started to go through the steps I needed to get gastric bypass.  A few months later after I finished breastfeeding I had started to get my period again. It was heavy and irregular more so than anything I had ever experienced. Then I got bypass 9/1/09 and it wasn't until early November that I finally went to my Gynecologic Oncologist and told him that I was miserable with my periods and I had even thought I might have needed to go to the ER at one point.  He told me it was time to have a hysterectomy and that there were no other options.  I had pre-surgical testing and my ultrasound came back with a mass in my uterus. Dec. 9th they went in not really knowing what they were going to find or what they were going to take out. The initial plan was to leave my ovaries but as they went in (laproscopically first, but that proved to be too difficult with all my scar tissue) all the scar tissue from my previous surgeries had adhesed everything together, even my bladder. To even try to pull it all apart would do more damage. They biopsied all my tissues and nodes and sent them to the lab.  I woke up to find out that they indeed took everything. While I was informed about that possibility, I fooled myself to thinking that I was emotionally prepared for that. My Dr. came in the next day to discuss the surgery and their findings and that was it. I was in the hospital for 5 days and I was actually relieved at the idea of never having a period again! A little over a week later and I went to get my staples out and get the pathology report. First of all, let me tell you my recovery would have been much worse 70 lbs ago!  My incisions for my previous surgeries always healed very nicely and quickly, this time is was terrible.  It looked like a train wreck.  It opened a little and it oozed and smelled!  Not good!  My Dr. said it was normal and it would stop, so I dealt with it.  Anyway, my results were for the most part good.  My cancer had indeed come back. The biopsy of the other tissues, (the nodes and surrounding) all came back negative but because the tumor was positive and it went deep into my uterine wall some cells could have gotten into my blood stream. So, I need to have a CAT scan and he will give me his final report in 3 weeks.  So there it is.  I am staying positive although it is very hard at times. Especially when I look at my beautiful children. I actually had a bad night last night.  After dinner I felt miserable, I had the chills and ached.  I couldn't get warm, so I got into a hot shower. My mind was thinking of the worst and for the first time I had a vision of my body being ravaged by cancer and that was why my body hurt and ached. I started to cry at the thought of dying and leaving my husband and kids with no wife or mother at such a young age. It really bothered me.  I never entertained thoughts of death before, I have always been very positive about my diagnoses, past and present. It scared the shit out of me to think that I could die. I am going to focus on my health and my family's health from now on. Losing 77 lbs. so far has been fabulous!  I feel so much different, my clothes feel different, eating and food don't hold me hostage anymore. I am a new woman and I have lots of hope for the future.  I love my life and my family and plan to "live" for the first time in many, many years.  I am Jewish and celebrate Hanukkah but this is in a way my "Christmas Miracle" story!  Happy Holidays everyone and Have a Happy, Healthy New Year! See you in 2010! Peace out!  

3 months out!----248lbs--Down 65lbs.!!!!

O---M---G!!!!  First of all it has been a couple of weeks since my last entry, but I have a lot going on right now--Lets Discuss.....  I am now 248lbs!  The last time I was 248lbs. was 7 years ago when I got pregnant with my first child!!!  I am feeling GREAT! When I left off a couple of weeks ago I was in the midst of getting ready for a small vacay to Las Vegas!  I weighed 256lbs on the day I flew to Vegas. That was the 19th.  Not only did we have a blast, but there is so much walking to be done there!  I could NEVER have done all the walking that I did, 60lbs. ago!  That is for sure!  I did it in a quick pace, nothing ached and I didn't get winded! Hallelujah!!! That alone was a milestone for me!  So when I got back on the 23rd, I weighed myself with the thought that I must have lost at least 5 pounds from just all the walking I did!  NOPE!! I was so shocked! I didn't lose a single pound! Still 256lbs!  How can that be?  I was not only annoyed, but worried that I was in a lull again!  So I decided that I wasn't going to weigh myself at all the rest of the week until I went to my 3 month check-up with my surgeon.  On 12/1 I weighed 250lbs.  Which crossed off one of my weight loss goals!!!  Well today December 4th 2009 I weigh 248lbs!!!! Michael and I were just looking at old pictures and we ran across one of Noah and I taken Fall/2004 and I almost vomited a little in my mouth.

I was probably around 285lbs in this pic.  I remember feeling ugly and I didn't want to sit that way-but we all know how those generic school photo poses are! BTW Noah was in a RARE bad mood that day, which made this pic EXTRA horrid.  I NEVER WANT TO HAVE A PICTURE LIKE THAT OF ME AGAIN!!!! I am so much happier now!  How I am able to tell the difference, is in clothes. I am currently in a size 20 in jeans, although they are a little loose! I am in a 1x top and I have lost in the Boobage dept. as well!  Before I was a 42-44DDD/G NOW I am a 42DD!!  WTF!!!  I hope I don't end up having floppy pancake boobies.  Although if I do--there is always surgery to correct that!  Anyway!  I never in my wildest dreams thought that I will have lost 65lbs. in 3 months.  I am happier than I have been in a long time and I can't wait till I reach my next milestone of 225lbs!!!!  Peace Out!

Week 10 Post-OP---258lbs----Down 55lbs

I am now down 55lbs!  I am so excited!  However, I will admit I was a bit worried there with not having lost more weight the last couple of weeks.  I guess that is a testament to the fact that I need to get more active and start working out!  Although, I am now in a size 20 jeans, and an 18/20 top!  I am feeling lighter and I am looking forward to starting a more serious exercise routine!

Week 9 Post-OP---262lbs----Down 51lbs

Today is my 37th birthday!!!  What a better way to celebrate than to be 51 pounds  lighter!!!! I only lost 1 pound since last week, but I am not going to freak out about it.  I guess this is the "lull" I have been hearing about!  I saw my Nutritionist, Sally yesterday and she is more than happy with my progress!  She said 50 lbs in the first 2 months is awesome!  I am doing great so far, I just need to work on getting all my fluids in!  For me it is hard to constantly drink something all day, especially since I can't "chug" it.  I usually get in 40 to 48 oz a day--but need to strive for that 64oz! I was finally given the go ahead to eat salad! I have been dying for a freaking piece of lettuce. Go figure! Me--dying for LETTUCE. Laughable.  When my husband and I first started dating, it was pretty humorous when we went out to eat because he almost always ordered a caesar salad for his meal and I usually got steak or a burger. When the server would bring our food, guess which one I would get? They always gave me the salad!  Is that the stereotype? Man+Red Meat=Stronger  and Woman+Salad=Diet !!!!  Just a bunch of CRAP!  To tell you the truth, my husband rarely eats red meat, he doesn't like burgers and if I were to tell him that I wanted to be a Vegan tomorrow he would say Great! Let's do it!  He doesn't realize what a huge support he is and I just realized how much, this week! For many WLS patients, their support system is usually their significant other. Prior to surgery, many of these people got heavy with their partners and then most of the time, one has the surgery.  Post surgery can be very hard on a relationship, due to one partner losing weight and the other, most likely, not changing their eating habits. It can really sabotage your journey! (At least this is what I have read--please don't blast me for saying some untruths!)  I am very fortunate to have a partner that eats healthy and never, ever goes to fast food places. He is very aware of how much he eats and stops even before he feels full.  In retrospect, I have only seen him, in the 10 years I have known him, uncomfortable from eating a meal, only about a handful of times.  This has been a tremendous help!  I can't imagine having a partner who didn't try to change their eating habits as well.  I can only imagine it would cause a lot of resentment. On both ends.  So to my husband Michael, I love you with all my heart. Thank you for always trying to set a good example of healthy eating for our kids and especially NOW, me. ( I say trying, because I will admit, he does FORGET to eat sometimes.  Pre-op this used to boggle my brain.  I would NEVER FORGET to eat. I couldn't even comprehend how this could happen!)  Anyway---I am going to enjoy my birthday with my girlfriends tonight!  They are taking me out to a Japanese Steakhouse/Sushi! I am very excited!  Tomorrow, Michael has reservations somewhere for just us and I have no idea where! Its a surprise! So thank you for reading and all of your support! Peace Out!

Week 8 Post-OP---263lbs----Down 50lbs!!!!

Today I weighed myself and I am officially down 50 pounds!!!!  FIFTY POUNDS!!  I am so ecstatic!  I can't believe I have lost 50lbs in 8 weeks--it's mind boggling!  I have to confess that I haven't been exercising like I should be, but on the flip side I just got official "clearance" to work out on machines at a gym now so NO MORE STALLING! Now is the time to get into a solid routine--I am checking out a couple of gyms to see which one will suit my needs best! But truthfully, I can totally feel the difference in my body and how I feel!  My sleep is better and my energy is definitely better than what it used to be.  I have a plan and I am going to do my best to stick to it!  So anyway, I do have some other news--if there are squeamish readers out there, then read no further--However, it is was it is.  Some of you may or may not know that I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer 5 years ago.  Well after 5 years of being cancer-free I have been told I definitely need a hysterectomy. After my miracle baby was born last year ( I say miracle, because I was told I would never be able to have kids again) I started to experience very heavy periods and now it's out of control--It's like I am hemorrhaging every time. Totally disgusting.  So while before the surgery I was totally against having a hysterectomy, because at age 36 I wasn't ready to give up the idea of possibly having another child--I really wanted a girl--NOW I can't wait to have it!  I think having WLS changed my whole attitude.  I am ready to focus on me and get myself healthy for myself and for my family. I have neglected myself for too long.  I am ready to get on with life!  My surgery is on Dec. 9th and hopefully everything will be fine!  I go to see my Nutritionist tomorrow and I can't wait for the next "tier" of food that I am able to have--I believe I am allowed to have SALAD!!  I am so happy for that!  I will post with news from that appt. tomorrow!  Peace Out!!

Week 7 Post-OP---270lbs----Down 43lbs

I can't believe I have lost 43lbs in less than 2 months!  I am so amazed!  My clothes feel good and I feel lighter in my step.  I had to race up the stairs last night and, before if I did, it was a freakin' chore.  First of all, there would have been no "racing" involved.  I hated stairs before.  I would get so winded and my knees would crack and make all these sounds. Yes, even just one flight of house stairs.  It was pretty brutal and sad.  However, when I needed to get something from upstairs I just sent Michael or Noah and they would get it for me.  Sleeping has been great as well.  Even though before surgery I was diagnosed with sleep apnea and I had been sleeping with a CPAP machine, I have to admit that I haven't been using it now for about a month and I feel fine.  Michael said he really hasn't heard me snore so I guess thats a good thing!  I go to see my Doctor on Friday and we will see what their scale says-because I hear from other patients that the scale at the docs office always weighs you heavier--but whatever, I am going to stick with my scale!  I am still not on a good routine with my vitamins, but I am aware that I need to get into a better mindset about them.  I am doing good with my protein intake,  I get in an average of 65 to 80 grams a day, and sometimes exceeding my requirement of 89 grams. I have discovered that my unflavored protein powder is good in a few things other than chicken broth--which I haven't really had since the first 2 weeks after surgery.  I love Chai tea and I discovered a sugar free version of the Oregon Chai brand concentrate!  LOVE IT!!  I have an authentic Oprah Winfrey mug that my sister-in-law Susan gave to me after she had appeared on her show (Cool right!) (Sidenote* That was the only gift she received from the show and she gave it to me because she knows how much I love Oprah!!) Anyway, that is my favorite mug and it is 16 oz. So I fill it with Skim deluxe milk plus 1/4 cup of chai concentrate--heat it up and add 2 scoops of the unflavored Nectar brand protein powder--(which is 20grams of protein) (10g per scoop) I also add a couple sprinkles of pumpkin pie spice and it is absolutely heaven!!!  After reading all these reviews on the Nectar Fuzzy Navel protein powder, I broke down and bought the Grab-N-Go container and I tried it and I HATED IT!!! It was so disgusting!  I was so hoping that would have been a good thing for me!  A week later, I tried it again, this time (per reviews) mixing it with some crystal light--Still Terrible!!!!  Ugggghhh! Now I have this huge container of powder that I don't know what to do with---Any suggestions? Anybody want samples?? I will mail you a couple if you want to test them before you buy. Let me know! Well I am off to bed--will post later on. Peace Out!

Week 6 Post-OP---272lbs----Down 41bs

It is hard to believe it has already been a little over 6 weeks since my surgery!  I am feeling good, not 100%, but I am starting to get into a routine.  I feel so great about myself!  I took Noah to a birthday party last weekend and I threw on my jeans that were a size 26, and they were SWIMMING  on me! It looked terrible! I had been wearing a size 24 and even those are getting loose, so I went to good ole' Lane Bryant to find a new pair of jeans and a top or two.  I tried on a size 22 and was shocked when I could button and zip them up!!!  My shirt size also went down I was a 26/28 and I tried on a 22/24 and that fit, but I also tried on an 18/20 and it fit great-could have been the cut as well, but hey I will take it!  I felt really sexy, and I was so happy at the change that was coming in the future!  Just walking in the Mall I felt lighter on my feet and I wasn't "lumbering" along, getting out of breath, with my back hurting like I used to!  I was really happy!

Week 5 Post-OP---279.5lbs----Down 33.5lbs!!

Its been 5 weeks since my surgery and things are going well!  For the most part I can eat pretty much what I want, within reason that is!  I am still having some issues getting in my protein and liquids, but I am always trying to get them down nonetheless.  I see the differences in my face and tummy and in my upper arms.  So that is cool.  Not changed that much in size, but starting to feel like my size 24 jeans are loosening up.  Exercise is my biggest hurdle right now, so I am working on that as well.  Not much else to say, I will write more later. Peace out.

Week 4 Post-OP---282.5lbs----Down 30.5lbs!

I am a month out this week and I am feeling pretty good! I am starting to get used to a whole new way of living. While I am not perfect in my meal planning or vitamin taking I do accept what it is that needs to be done in order for me to succeed.  So I need to get myself into a different frame of mind where all that is concerned.  For the most part I feel like I am doing well--not perfect--but it will get there.  I have started a new "tier" this week in which my nutritionist added different foods to my diet and has allowed me to swallow my pills instead of chewing or crushing them.  Which is so great because I hate my chewables.  I am allowed to eat more solid foods--although truthfully I had started some of them a week ago.  Which is no big deal--just chew, chew, chew! Speaking of chewing--a couple days ago I tried a slice of 99% fat-free deli turkey rolled with a slice of colby deli cheese and I was talking to my son Noah and I wasn't paying attention and took a big "pre-op" bite and swallowed way too prematurely---It got stuck.  So this is what I keep hearing about.  I had this overwhelming hot feeling, kinda like I was suffocating, and I tried to beat on my chest to make it "go down" and it obviously didn't work. Noah was like "Mommy what's wrong?"  I sat there quietly waiting for it to pass and tried to drink something but it made a gurgling sound on the way down and really felt weird as I felt it pass the blockage. I was miserable so I did what I thought might help and I went to the bathroom and made myself vomit.  It all came out, thick little blobs of turkey and cheese. I felt so much better after that! I came back to the table and had a spoon of applesauce and decided I was done.  For some reason I had this attitude that I was lucky, I have had no complications and I wasn't going to. For a quick moment I had reverted back to how I used to eat; fast and mindless.  Well it bit me in the ass.  The "rules" are  eat dime-size bites, chew to an applesauce consistency, and wait a minute in between bites.  You should consume your meal within 20 minutes and no drinking during your meal.  Pretty easy right?  I missed a few steps and it got me.  So basically, I have to be conscious about everything I put in my mouth from now on or else I am going to get into trouble!!!!  So I lost 6.5lbs in a week for a total of 30.5lbs---GONE FOREVER!!!  YAY ME!  haha  My clothes are feeling looser and I am a size 24 jeans and like a 3x top.  That's down from a 26 jean and 4x top. My body doesn't feel as heavy either. I would get really winded just climbing my stairs but now I feel better!!  I am still a little tired but it could be because I am not doing enough walking and getting out.  I always feel better after I walk and happy that I had done it.  But getting motivated is the toughie for me.  There is no surgery option for that.  However, I am not worried a bit.  I know I can do it.  I am excited to go out and get moving in this awesome Fall weather!!  Till next time, Peace out.

Week 3 Post-OP 289lbs! down 24lbs

This is the 3rd week and I am doing great!  I feel a little lighter and can see it in my face and in my stomach.  I had 2 appointments this week. One with the nutritionist, Sally and the other with Tiffany, the PA at Dr. Anez' office. I brought my food journal to Sally and while my intake hasn't been perfect--in the sense that I sometimes skip a meal, or I am not getting enough protein or fluids, overall I am doing well!  She doesn't expect me to have this all perfectly down-pat yet--its a learning process.  Its a struggle to get down 90 grams of protein in a day!  Not to mention 64oz of fluids.  Because I can't "chug" I have to constantly sip all day.  I get in between 40 and 55 ounces on a good day--otherwise I sometimes get in 24 to 32 ounces. I have discovered a great alternative to a protein shake, which I got really tired of and it never went down well (because it was cold). I used to have a cup of coffee every morning before I had surgery, so I experimented with protein powder and making it into a hot drink.  I heat up Lactaid (yes I am lactose intolerant, even if I wasn't before, apparently its not uncommon for people to develop a sensitivity after WLS) so anyway--I use 10oz of skim lactaid then I stir in a scoop of vanilla protein powder then add a teaspoon of instant decaf coffee.  Delish!!  So that in itself is 32 grams of protein!  I have one in the morning and one at night.  its a little sweeter than I would like but really soothing!  I have the Syntrax Nectar Vanilla Bean Torte protein powder and also the Chocolate Truffle flavor. Those are both 23 grams of protein per serving and they taste better than anything else I have tried so far!  I also bought the Nectar "Medical" unflavored powder which is 10 grams of protein per serving and  I add that to other stuff just so I can get the protein in. I also went to The Vitamin Shoppe and got a few bottles of protein drink.  They were kind of like the Isopure drinks but in gatorade-like bottles and had 30g of protein per bottle. So I cracked one open and tried it in the car. Lets just say YUCK. There was such a heavy aftertaste.  I tried to force it down but I just couldn't do it. I am going to return them. Michael usually gets my rejected items but even he wasn't crazy about it!  So I will just have to experiment and find something that I can tolerate!  I am starting to feel lighter and now I really have to get serious about an exercise regimen.  Walking with Nadav in the stroller is easiest for me right now, so until I get a little stronger, that will suffice!  Peace Out!

Week 2 Post-Op

I am in my second week of post-op and I have definitely had my highs and lows. I am able to get around more and my incision is healed but I still have soreness.  Mentally, I have been completely fucked.  I suffer from extreme WANT-TO-EAT-THAT syndrome. I had been watching Food Network, Man vs. Food and Diners, Drive-ins and Dives and all those other shows that shows the American obsession with gluttony.  I am amazed at how much we Americans actually eat. I never thought about it before, because I WAS the gourmand. I was that person who would pig out at restaurants completing my very over-sized meal often only after I had an appetizer and a cocktail. I LOVED going out to eat, food was my preferred social outing. Anything I did whether it be with family or friends usually included choosing where to go to eat.  My favorite places to go where, The Cheesecake Factory, PF Changs, Coastal Flats and anywhere that had a fantastic, juicy steak!!!  Now, I am not saying I will never be able to go to those places ever again, I HOPE I will be able to, but I know that it will be a whole different experience.  Other than that--I have been feeling okay, I am sick of protein shakes and I hate all my vitamins, specifically my chewables.  I have a chewable multi-vitamin that is orange and at first it was good, but my tastes are definitely changing and sometimes I want to hurl.  I also had this chewable iron pill that was lemon-lime flavor...DISGUSTING.  Think about sucking on a lemon-lime candy and adding a penny into your mouth.  I quickly stopped taking those and was given the clearance to swallow a small iron tablet.  I also have these calcium chews that are chocolate flavored and lemon flavored. They are the size of a starburst candy and at first taste okay but then you keep chewing and then the grit hits.  UUUGGGHHHH!  So since I have to take in 1500mg of calcium a day I am looking for food and drinks that are fortified with it.  So, I go to my 3 week checkup next week and I will get weighed again.  I don't have a scale at home so I really have no idea how much I have lost so far, but I will say my clothes feel a little looser!!  My stomach has gotten a little smaller and my face seems a little thinner. Oh and my wedding ring is a little looser as well!  So thanks to everyone who is following my blog!!!  I will keep you posted as exciting things pop up!!! Peace out.

This is going to be a really long ride.......

Today I went to my first social outing since the surgery.  Let me start off by saying--AAAAARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! The neighbors of my in-laws threw a birthday party for their  son--these people are Iranian and know how to entertain, with lots of tasty food and beverage.  There were meatballs, chicken wings, cheese and crackers, Iranian potato salad, other salads, chips and salsa, guacamole, roast chicken breasts, garlic bread, pizza and not to mention MARGARITAS AND BEER---MY FAVORITES.  I came over with my cup of chicken broth and sipped on that while I watched everyone else around me helping themselves to all this food that I was salivating over!!!!! I was in a really great mood and I am feeling great and then I started to look around me--these people are eating and having a great time and not all of them were skinny.  There were a few that were overweight.  So I asked myself as I sat there, "Could I have been happy being overweight and being able to eat what I wanted for the rest of my life?"  So it really got to me and I had to leave the party for a while.  My husband knew the reason why I  had left but I told the others who asked where I was going that I needed to go to the bathroom.  I needed to escape.  I feel better now that I am away, but I know that I am not going to be able to avoid these situations in the future.  I even packed my dinner- 2T of cottage cheese and 2T of applesauce.  Hopefully in a few more weeks my meals will be second nature and all this head hunger will get better.  So to answer the question,  No.  I would not be happier overweight and just eating myself to death.  That's why I got the surgery.  I needed help and unlike the people at the party, I couldn't control myself.  But I also can't speak for anyone else--that is their lives and this is mine---so off I go to eat my quarter cup! I am going to eat the hell out that cottage cheese and applesauce!!! lol

One week post-op

Today is exactly one week since my surgery! As you can imagine this is definitely a "lifestyle change"! I have been following the meal plan that my Nutritionist laid out for me and let me just say this--------THIS IS NOT THE "EASY" WAY OUT!!!!  For overeaters, we might have one, maybe two, BIG meals a day.  I have to eat 3 quarter cup meals, PLUS two 8oz. protein shakes. PLUS take all my multivitamins, iron, mineral supplements AND be able to get in at least 64oz of liquids a day!!!  Okay hear me out--I am not complaining, I am just informing the naysayers out there that think gastric bypass surgery is a "quick fix"! It is so not my friend!  All this and only one week out!  ANYWHOOOO! I will give you a brief rundown on what I am eating:

TYPICAL DAY:

8am- 8oz Protein shake

11am- 2T applesauce + 2T cottage cheese (thats breakfast)

2pm- 1/4 C blended bean soup and 2 crackers (lunch)

5pm- 12oz warm chicken broth plus a scoop of protein powder (my favorite so far)

6pm- 1 scrambled egg, 1tsp. shredded cheese, and 1T applesauce (dinner)

8:30pm- 8oz Protein shake

Bed at 11pm

All between meals I have to sip, sip, sip, water or crystal light or warm tea.Whatever I can tolerate.

What I eat varies, but it has to be no more than 1/4 cup/4Tablespoons of soft, pureed foods for the first 8 weeks. Michael has been my "chef" caring for me and making sure I "get down all that protein shake"!  Ha Ha!  I haven't gotten sick or anything, I am walking around just fine and I feel great, just a little fatigue but hello? I had a major operation a week ago!

I got my staples out this morning and got weighed---I lost 13lbs. in the first week!!!! I am officially 300lbs. today!  Achieving my first goal! I still can't believe I am telling people my weight, but you know, as Dr. Phil always states: "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." (that was for you Michael teehee)  Hey People! It is what it is!!!! 

Surgery Day!!!!!

Tuesday, September 1st! I got to the Hospital before 8am with a 10am surgery time.  I didn't actually get called back until about 10:15am because my doc was running behind schedule due to another RNY.  So just the waiting around was hard enough!  So I got called back and got prepped, my family came to give me a last kiss and I was given some meds, rolled to the OR and that was it!!!!  The next thing I remember is waking up in the recovery room.  I was in a little pain but I also felt drowsy and and really struggling to open my eyes, I think I was given meds and I went back to sleep!  I woke up in my room and a pain pump of Morphine was placed in my hand and was told to press it when I needed it.  The next few hours where a bit hazy, I remember my husband and kids coming to see me but I think I was pretty out of it as they didn't stay very long. My throat was rough and sore from the tube and I felt a little nauseous.  I have had three surgeries prior to this: 2 C-sections, and another uterine surgery (the incision was exactly in the same place as the c-sections)  The pain was comparable to those previous surgeries in my opinion.  I slept most of the day and I actually was given food as well!  On the tray there was some chicken broth, cranberry juice (diluted), and protein jello--They were all in miniature form!  in these little sauce cups!  I was actually afraid to try to eat or drink because I didn't know what to expect with my new pouch!  I got up to go to the bathroom and I actually felt a little more nauseous as I was attempting to walk, so the nurse handed me the kidney bowl and I just had a lot of saliva and "that feeling" like I was going to vomit, but I never did. I ended up walking about 15 feet and had to turn around because I was really dizzy (from anesthesia) but was told that was a good start anyway!  Any amount of walking you do after surgery is great, at least you are moving and not just lying in bed. So I had a couple more visitors and I was brought dinner which was the same stuff and I picked at that and enjoyed pushing my pain pump every so often, and for the most part felt good!  I admit I had thoughts of "what have I done", "couldn't I have lost weight on my own instead of choosing this drastic of a choice?' When you are alone in your room, and you start to think about how hard its going to be it can really fuck with your mind, pardon my french.  I settled down and went to sleep thinking "okay Stacy, you did it and now tomorrow is another day"!   And my journey had officially begun..................

The night before my surgery

So I want to write about what had happened the night before my surgery because I am sure others have gone through the same emotions as me (I hope!)  While out buying last minute supplies for my aftercare I realized that I hadn't really eaten anything the whole day--banana here, nibbles there, not really a meal so to speak as I was also instructed to eat light anyway the day before.  I didn't want to ruin everything by eating fast food, so I bought a candy bar from Walmart. I got a king size Milky Way and knew it was going to be my last so I start to eat it in my car on the way home and it tasted soooo good! (of course) I wanted to savour every bite so I went slow and felt it in my mouth and was really into this chocolatey goodness when a song from the 80's came on- "It must have been love" by Roxette. Talk about emotions!!!! I started to cry and I realize that I am "breaking up" with this candy bar forever!!!!!  I went through all of these emotions; happiness (to begin a new way of life), sadness (food was my coping mechanism for almost 30 years), anxiety (about surgery), fear (that I am going to fuck-up some how) and just about every other emotion you can think of!!! So I look at the last part of the candy bar and kissed it and told"it" that I was done with it and I didn't "need" it anymore and opened my sunroof and flung it out into the night!!!!!  I WAS LIBERATED!!! I FELT SO GREAT!  I felt like a new person and OFFICIALLY began my journey! So I get home and I get myself together and sit on the couch and my husband is on the computer oblivious and I start to cry AGAIN!  He was like, "Baby are you crying?"  and I explained to him the whole candy bar incident and re-telling it only made it seem that much funnier because we laughed so hard!! My husband is so supportive of me and everything I do, and I love him to death!  So then after we had our good laugh, I realized I had to do some more cleaning up before going to bed--I got my bag ready and got food ready for my husband and kids for the week and by the time I looked at the clock it was 11:45pm--I am not allowed anything else to drink or eat past midnight and for a split second, wondered what I could eat before then.  I heard someone say recently, but never had it been so real till now; "Life is about Choices." So I CHOSE to have 2 bites of soup and a little water and that was it. Tomorrow is the start of a new me.............

Last appointment before my Surgery!!!

Today I had my last appointment with my surgeons P.A.  (physicians assistant) before my surgery on Tue. 9/01/09!  I am sooo ready!  She went over what to expect before/during/after surgery and btw, she was awesome!!  She had received all my results from the previous tests I had taken and everything looked great! All my labs were good except apparently my Vitamin D levels were pretty low!  WTF?  haha  She has said that alot of overweight people are deficient because Vit. D is stored in the fat and since a lot of us have A LOT of fat it is hard for the vitamin to reach the bloodstream!  I thought that I was consuming enough dairy that was fortified with Vitamin D but I guess not! She gave me a prescription for a supplement to take.  I didn't have that many questions so we covered just the basics.  After that I had another meeting with the registered dietician.  I had had homework to complete before surgery, involving what my meal plan was going to be the days following my surgery when I come home!  So we had a good chat and I left feeling more confident about what to expect! Come on Tuesday!!!!!

Upper GI endoscopy

Today I had my endoscopy and it went great!  The hardest part was having to be at the hospital at 6:45 this morning with the kids especially!  I was prepped and given an IV sedation and was asked if I had any last thing to say to the doctor and I stated "Rock on"!  I remember a little burning sensation in my hand and then I remember going very loopy--my eyes were super drowsy and then next thing I know, I was awake!!  I felt really drowsy and sleepy and had slight irritation in my throat, but other than that It was fast and easy!  I was on the way home by 9:45am!  I got home and took a nap and woke up after 3 hrs.  I had a headache, but that was probably from not eating yet. The hospital called to make sure I was doing well.  Thursday is my last appointment at the surgeons office before my surgery!

Nutrition Class

I went to my first nutrition class today with my husband--it was really informative!  I received a binder full of lots of post-op information on food requirements, vitamin supplements, and general post-op care! We also sampled some protein shakes (Unjury chocolate was really good!)  I have to go this week to get my supplies!

Long day of appointments!

I just got back from a very long day of appointments!  I was up at 7 and had to be at the Hospital at 8:30am for  a Gallbladder ultrasound-that went well.  I had a chest x-ray done and an ABG test done (arterial blood gasses) then I had a Nurse interview with a lady named Kathleen who was so awesome!!!  She was really down to earth and she spoke clearly about what to expect from the surgery.  She also had the surgery 7 years ago and let me tell you she looks great!  So anyway, after that I had an appt. with the GI doctor to discuss mondays upper GI endoscopy--so after that I went to Labcorp and had my blood drawn and peepee test LOL --then I was done!!!!   So I am getting so excited and I cant believe it is coming so soon!!!!

Pulmonary Clearance

I had my pulmonary clearance on Monday and I passed it!  Although I am on a CPAP machine as of 6 weeks ago, I am having a hard time getting used to it!  Ironically, I wont be needing it much a couple months from now! YAY!!!  I still can't believe I am going to be having this surgery!

I am finally APPROVED!

I cannot believe it!  Ashley called me this morning to tell me that my insurance approved me for surgery!  So she asked me when is a good time and I immediately said  ASAP!!!  So I chose September 1st!!!!  That is my day!  WHOOOOHOOOOO!!!  I am so excited!  I went in later on and got all my pre-op paperwork and now I have to start making appointments!!! 

Now OFFICIALLY done with my weigh-ins!

Last week was my last weigh-in (the 6th month) of my supervised diet. Whooo-Hoooo!  I had called Ashley at my surgeons office and she submitted the paperwork for insurance approval!  Now I just have to wait to hear from them!  She told me if I want to expidite things that I need to call them like, every other day just to kinda light a fire under their asses!! And that is what I plan to do!!!

Insurance requirements.

In December I had started the process for my gastric bypass by fulfilling the requirements of my insurance company. I had to complete a 6 month supervised diet with my primary care physician that included monthly weigh-ins. So I thought I was finished with the whole 6 month diet thing, when I received a call from the girl who handles the insurance stuff at my Surgeons office.  She told me that she heard back from the insurance and apparentely I missed the month of February!!!!

I was completely shocked and immediately went to go check my calendar.  I couldn't find anywhere that said I actually went-but I JUST KNEW that I had gone religiously every month....So I thought.  I looked back at February and realized that I indeed did miss my appointment for that month!!!!!  My 4 month old had a major surgery around the time that I was supposed to weigh-in and I guess my mind was pre-occupied with all of that stuff.  So I called My Doctor and asked if he could do anything to help me out and they just plainly stated that they couldn't "just generate an appointment that wasn't there."   I was so bummed!  I called my insurance rep and the guy was really nice and went over my options.  Since there was a break in the diet, only the last four months count, so I can just continue for 2 more weigh-ins and I will have fulfilled the insurance requirements.  It seemed like a long time but it was only really another 6 weeks----piece of cake! I waited this long, I can wait a little longer!